Ok, you guys, I need to address this new AI trend. It CREEPS ME THE FUCK OUT! I was weirded out by filters, but this is on a whole other level. I am not judging anyone who is jumping in and trying it, because I would love to see myself as a magical fairy too, but I am very concerned about our society’s mental health and the waves that will come from another layer of looking outside ourselves for perfectionism.

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The CDC states that teen suicides have increased more than 30% between 2007 and 2015 which coincides with the increasing use of social media use among teens. Suicide is the second leading cause of death in the age group of 10-24 in the nation. In Utah, suicide is the LEADING CAUSE of death in teens 15-19 and is almost double the NATIONAL RATE.

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I am sorry, but how can we ignore the fact that when we flood our social media with false representations of ourselves that we are not causing harm. I worry about the message my breast implants I got when I was 21 and the Botox I sometimes get in my forehead is sending my daughter, I can’t imagine if I was always looking outside myself in an AI app to find beauty within myself. Yes, read that again, it does not make sense! No amount of AI or surgery will change your beauty because your beauty is attached to your energy that is inside of you. My daughter said to me a few weeks ago “Mommy you have wrinkles around your eyes.” My reply was “because I have smiled a lot in life.” I am not perfect and get sucked up into the perfectionism wave at times but this one just feels different to me.

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Things I have seen that alarm me:

• This app is making people skinnier. Why are we saying skinnier is a prettier version of us and sharing it like it is a badge of honor?

• People’s faces have an unrealistic younger glow. Of course, if an app makes you shiny, you are going to sparkle. This reminds of the Instagram filters that make people look totally different and then you see them in real life, you wonder why they don’t present themselves online in their truth.

• The app is enlarging women’s breasts. I got breast implants when I was 21. I wish I could go back in time to tell that 21-year-old she was beautiful as she was. No number of surgeries, starving myself, trying to fit into the mold of perfectionism, helped me find happiness.

• You are literally becoming a cartoon. I always wanted to be Rainbow Bright, but I will leave it to an artist.

• They are stealing artists techniques that are people who have taken years to develop their craft. Artists, I see you. I honor your craft and we are going back to community. We have given away so much to machines over the years, and here we are doing it again.

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• The facial recognition pics!!! Maybe this is a far-fetched thought to be worried about but the fact every app on my phone opens with my face, makes me freaked out by this. I do not want to upload a bunch of photos of my face to an app.

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The most important currency we own is our energy! I know some people may do this app just for fun and they are fine. I know some people are doing this and it is making them wish they were a different version of themselves, and I know this is completely dangerous for others. I hope you protect your ENERGY and realize what you need and listen. Don’t let any app or filter tell you show you how beautiful you are. It feels so low vibe to me…this is just my opinion, and not in any way judgement. It honestly just feels scary to me.

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Do a photo shoot! Get dressed up and have some fun. Find beauty in yourself. Remember when we used to look at our elders and see their lines and older age as wisdom? I want to go back to that reality. This currently reality is literally making people sick.  I am worried for my daughter and other kids that are being raised in this unattainable false reality. Let’s show our children they are beautiful exactly as they are. In order to do that we have to believe we are beautiful as we are.

- With love only ❤️ Amanda @luxhealingarts

- Amanda ( @luxhealingarts ❤️)

For those of you that have followed my blog for a while, I have had to start new chapter of words and hide the previous stories for personal reasons. Don’t worry, the book is being written and the healing journey of empowerment and resilience will be shared again in the future.

Till then I am faced with starting a new chapter……again. I could feel defeated, or feel empowered, the choice is in my hands. That is what the lesson of life is. Starting over, so you can learn and grow. Thich Nhat Hanh said “Most people are afraid of suffering. But suffering is a kind of mud to help the lotus flower of happiness grow. There can be no lotus flower without the mud.” I have had discussions this week with a few people that have mentioned they feel “stuck”. I sometimes feel like I am stuck. But that is when I must surrender and realize I am growing. People try to hold you down or limit your voice when they feel threatened by you, but next time that happens, I want you to ask yourself; “Are they really holding me down or am I becoming empowered to learn and grow?”

This Leo Portal Energy and the Full Moon energy this week has been a giant push and pull for me. I was confused by all the Instagram posts of manifestation because It didn’t feel all “big dreams and let’s manifest” like it has in the past to me. It has reminded me of my life the last year. Some of the most amazing moments that have had me feeling so grateful mixed in with hate and darkness that has tried to drag me down.

When I looked up the planet energy this month, I understood why I was feeling this tension. This month alone: Mars clashed Uranus, Mars clashed Saturn, the Sun clashed Uranus, the Sun clashed Saturn, and at the end of the month Venus clashes Saturn. This energy creates and intense, uncomfortable energy, depending on where these planets are in your chart.

As we step into the Aquarius full moon we are in a clash between the sun and Saturn Retrograde. We feel a pull to step into our individuality and evolve but it is creating a pressure that is asking us what we have learned so we can grow. When I look at where the Aquarius energy is today and where it shows up in my chart, I find Gate 13.1 (Human Design, if you don’t know about this yet, reach out for a 1-1 reading and you will never be the same).

Gate 13 is the line of the narrative. Where are my old stories holding me back? The power of this gate is to forgive my past so I can learn from the lessons and show up as the best version of myself. I am here to create a personal narrative that is empowering. Karen Curry Parker says to master this gate you have “the ability to use the power of personal narrative to create with power and intention”. The gate being in line 1 means I need the fact and details. I had to investigate the energy so I could feel empowered to share my story around it.

So here I am on this Aquarius Full Moon changing the narrative with power and intention. It doesn’t feel like rainbows and butterfly’s but instead feels like I am a lotus growing in the mud. In our world of believing in magic, manifesting our dreams, and truly raising the vibration of humanity we must remember that we need balance. Only through the understanding of suffering can we set ourselves free.

• Amanda (@luxhealingarts)